This is Hell Kitchen
by Elise the Writing Desk
Summary: You know, Clover Country is an ideal place to summon Satan. Why? Well I'll tell you why. You can drag Tweedle Dee and Dum, and take one Gray Ringmarc, add raw ingredients and give them cooking utensils. Let them do their thing, and Satan will ascend from the depths of Hell. And by 'their thing' I meant COOKING. God save us all.


**This is Hell Kitchen**  
_January 12th 2015_  
by Elise the Writing Desk, Characters by QuinRose

* * *

Oh, Clover Country. The green, the clovers, the forest whale. It's actually quite wonderful.

Until Alice Liddell was tied up to a chair and was forced into hell.

And by hell she meant Gray Ringmarc, Elliot March, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum attempting TO COOK.

And since it's outside, this means Ace had to join the fun as well! Alice really, really, wish, from the bottom of her heart, that Ace would be her hero this time.

"Potato starch, we need a hundred and twenty five point thirty one grams of potato starch." Gray said and grabbed the small pack of potato starch beside the boiling cauldron that Ace had provided. "Okay, we have to measure it!"

"Let's just dump that in!" Dee suggested, pulling the pack.

"No, no, we have to measure it!" Gray pulled it back.

"We know what we're doing!" Dum laughed, trying to snatch the potato starch pack.

"Can I put the carrots now?" Elliot asked, holding a bucketful of carrots.

Ace laughed. "Okay, guys, just measure it with your hand, it shouldn't be that hard to estimate a hundred and fifty grams of—"

"NO! We need to measure it precisely to the second decimal place!" Gray insisted and had sat down by a measuring tool that had appeared out of thin air. "This will measure everything to the second decimal place!"

Dee and Dum sighed. "Fine, whatever! But can we put chocolate in it?"

"Yeah, chocolate and curry! The best!"

"I've made carrot juice, can I dump it in?" Elliot asked, now holding a gallon of orange solution.

Alice's teeth were scattering. Ace was waiting for Gray to get the measurement right.

"Come on! Just zero-point-zero one gram won't affect anything, dude!" the knight laughed.

"No! It has to be perfect, the perfect chocolate bolognaisse curry! To the second decimal place!" Gray stubbornly resisted.

"Oh, bolognaisse too?" Dum grinned and picked a pack of bolognaisse sauce. "Okay, some sauce. Where's the chocolate?"

"I can't find the chocolate! Damn. Oh, wait, what is this?" Dee curiously picked a brown-block and sniffed it. "Oh, shrimp paste, gross! But it looks like chocolate!" he handed it to Dum, who just dumped the whole block.

"And the carrot juice!" Elliot laughed, pouring in the orange juice while the twins laughed and mixed the satanic potion. "This will be awesomely delicious!"

"Innit?"

"Ha, hahahahaha!"

Only at this moment were those three so civil towards each other.

Ace stopped nagging Gray and just noticed the deadly smell coming from the boiling cauldron. Even his cheerful attitude couldn't resist the aura of the satanic concoction that was being brewed in the moment.

Alice could smell hell and she felt her stomach churn as she wept and prayed to whatever up there. Ace chuckled and patted her shoulder.

"A-Ace?"

"Alice, I have work, so...see ya!"

"You traitoooor!" Alice screamed as the knight walked into bushes. "WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GO TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL TOGETHER YOU BASTARD!"

"Okay, here's the potato starch," Gray dumped the meticulously measured starch into the 'curry' and picked up a sack of rice. "And while we're at it we just boil the rice in it so we don't have to double the work!"

"Wow, Ringmarc, you're genius!" Dum clapped his hands, deeply impressed. "I've never thought of such practical method!"

"And the meat, which one? Beef, chicken or...oh, fish! We have fish too!" Dee brought a bucketful of meat, chicken and fish.

"That's okay, just dump everything. The more the merrier." Dum said and watched his twin dumping everything into the cauldron.

"Yes, indeed, the more ingredients, the more nutrients there would be," Gray smiled brightly while attempting to mix the 'curry' with a ladle. "And more meat and fish will give more protein!"

"And carrots!" Elliot perked up with another bucket of sliced carrots. "For more vitamin!" he grinned and dumped the whole thing. "Alice will be strong and cute!" the orange-head grinned to the wailing young lady.

"I don't want to be dead!" Alice cried.

"I know, this curry will prolong your life, Big Sis!" Dee raised a thumb up.

"And will keep you young!" Dum nodded vigorously.

"You're sending me to hell!" the dark blonde wept, struggling in her chair. "You spawns of Satan!"

"Ah, it's done!" Gray said happily, and the other three cheered while one girl was crying out loud.

"Okay, Miss Alice will have the honor of the first batch!" Gray decided and was about to take a ladle of the satanic potion when suddenly...

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL!?"

BAZOOOMMM!

BOOM!

A bright light illuminated the forest and a vicious pressure blown everything to the air.

The satanic curry perished into ash.

Never in her life Alice was so happy to see Blood and Peter.

"My love! Can you cope? What has these idiots attempted towards thy? They should die for making you cry!" Peter didn't even bother her with his rhyming as he cradled her black-burnt body into his chest. The Prime Minister glared to the burnt four males which were still dumbfounded by the explosion.

Blood huffed, setting down his bazooka—he rarely used it because it's too heavy and he's too lazy—while giving a condescending stare at his men.

"So you left your boss in that hellish meeting attempting at My Lady's life by sacrificing her to the Lord of Hell." The Mafia Boss said sternly. "I see how it is now. You don't even invite me to your party. I see how much of loyalty you have for me."

"Boss! That's not it!" Elliot cried. "I thought you'd be bored so I didn't say anything!"

"Boss, don't cut our pay!" Dum wailed.

"Boss we're sorry!" Dee said in deep regret.

Peter was bringing a now clean Alice in his arms, approaching the four with his cold eyes.

"You've created pollution in the forest! And the worst, putting My Love into arrest! Gray Ringmarc, I can't believe you left the meeting to summon Satan! Your Master should punish and beat your character into a Spartan!"

Gray looked exactly like a child getting caught stealing, denying all his mature features, he looked down with a troubled look.

"Ah, I'm terribly sorry about this commotion. I wasn't summoning Satan, we're just cooking."

"Yeah, we're just cooking!" Dee and Dum protested.

"Yes, boss, we're cooking curry, not summoning Satan!" Elliot nodded vigorously.

Now Alice, Blood and Peter deadpanned in union at this statement with a sharp:

"SAME DIFFERENCE."

And that is why they built McDonald's in Clover Country.

(_Ba dum tshh_)

* * *

**The McDonald's part is only an 'Ending you can use when you don't know how to end a story.' (Ok who gets this reference please say PASTA in the review)**

**Would you like a spoonful of this satanic curry? Review.**


End file.
